• 18Jan
    Categories: Humour Comments Off

    An older couple at an art exhibition were staring at a painting that
    had them completely confused.
    The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park
    bench.
    Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a
    pink penis.
    They asked the curator of the gallery for an interpretation.He explained how it represented the sexual emasculation of African-Canadians in predominately white, patriarchal society.
    “In fact,” he pointed out,”some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.

    After the curator left, a man with a noticeable maritime accent approached the couple and said, “Would yous’ like to know what the painting is really all about?”

    The couple looked at the man with some degree of suspicion……
    How & why” asked the couple, ”could you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of this gallery?”
    “Because I’m the guy who painted it,” he replied. “In fact, there’s no African-Americans shown here at all.
    They’re just three Cape Breton coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch

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  • 08Jan
    Categories: Rant View Comments

    After moving to Cambridge just over a year ago, ive not made a huge amount of friends. One of the friends i made was a cat breeder whom i bought some books off on trademe.

    I bought an ex breeding cat who had not been the best of breeders, i paid a decent amount of $150 for her which was fine. We loved her so much and decided that when our older cat died we would replace her with one of my friends kittens.

    In the past year my friend decided she wanted to move her website to my server for hosting. Being a friend i gave her $5 a month hosting and went out of my way to go over to her house and set up her computer to work.

    I even set her up a new website using a CMS and spent a good few hours on it, she however decided that she wanted to stick with her old frames version, centered, with lots of italics and MS Comic (which is fine, i can live with that).

    When she messed something up on her website that made links in her frames work, she blamed it on my server. When i rebooted the server, for 5 seconds her webpage was down (literally, its a VPS) she complained and said she wanted a refund on hosting and to move it elsewhere and made a huge deal about it … she never did.

    Finally my older kitty had to be put down, and i asked about a new kitten. She said she would give me a discount because i had done the same for her. When she had kittens she said ‘oh lets stick with the $500 i charge everyone else’. I can live with that. The kitten was ready right before  i knew i was going to be away for 2 weeks in wellington so I asked as a friend could she keep it an extra couple of weeks.  I thought it was not cool to take a new kitten then leave it by itself alone only with my other cat who didn’t know it for a couple of weeks. Since my friend had reneged on ‘mates rates’ on everything else, and often offered to look after my other cat when i had gone away (though id never taken her up on it), i figured it wouldnt be a huge thing.

    Today i went to her house to see the kitten. She tells me its ready tomorrow, and suddenly decided that i should pay her $2.50 per day to look after it for the next couple of weeks.  Since I wasn’t going to pick it up for a couple more weeks, I had only paid $300 of the $500. I need to either come up with $200 by tomorrow, or $2.50 per day for the next 2.5 weeks or until i can pay for it.

    I’ve decided that there’s no way I’m paying $17.50 a week for a kitten to be looked after, even catteries are cheaper than that. However I am going away to Wellington for a couple of weeks, and i’m on the bones of my butt trying to pay for extras relating to that. So yeah, bit of a bombshell, and im really not happy about it all. I very much doubt at this stage ill get any money back if i decide not to go through with taking the kitten and getting another elsewhere.

    I guess we will just have to extend loans or something and have my oldest son look after it whilst im away.

    ps. I do not want advice or opinion much here, im just letting of steam and pissed. Friendship will be pretty much terminated in this case.

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  • 31Dec
    Categories: Tech View Comments

    Was hunting about for some of this recently and was unable to find any decent other than a few here or there. So I combined them all into one page.

    ANIMALS
    
    \-o-/      Bat
    
    ><>      Fish
    
    ><(((('>      Fish
    
    /><{{{{">       Fish
    
    ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmo'      Millipede
    
    ----{,_,">         Mouse
    
    ~~~~~~^~~~~~       Shark
    
    __@/       Snail
    
    /-o-\          Spider
    
    /\o/\          Spider
    
    ///\oo/\\\           Spider (or some kind of bug)
    
    _/\,     Worm
    
    _/\__/\__0>   Worm
    
    \-o-/  Bat
    
    /-o-\   Spider
    
    =^..^= Kitty cat 
    
    @( * O * )@ Koala
    
    _mmmP    Loch Nes monster 
    
    <:3 )~~~ Mouse (top view) 
    
    <^__)~~ Mouse (side view) 
    
    c---I-I-I-I{  Scorpion
    
    <(^.^)> happy cat
    
    <(@.@)> cat who stayed up too late
    
    <(o.O)> confused cat
    
     ,/\,/\,/\,/\,/\,/\,o  Caterpillar
    
     <`)))>< Fish  ¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º>    Fish Swimming
    
    <(^.^)> Happy Cat 
    
    =^..^= Kitty cat 
    
    @( * O * )@ Koala 
    
     @('_')@ Monkey
    
    °l°(,,,,);  Sheep 
    
    ///\oo/\\\  Spider 
    
    <(*)><<<<<< - bird 
    
    And it's fun to do a mirror image of two animals facing each other
    ----{,_,"><",_,}---- Are they kissing or facing off WWE style? "I'm gonna git you, sucka!" 
    
    Or even better yet, let's have a mouse face off with a worm!
     ----{,_,"><0__/\__/\__
    
    ACTIONS
    
    \-o-/ Sleepy person
    
    /-o-\ Sleepy person
    
    (>n_n)><(n_n<) - Hug
    
    d(OwO)b - Listening to music
    
    ô¿ô -   Staring at you
    
    (=.=)~   sleeping
    
     ---=======[}   Pie fight
    
    (^_^)'/ waving
    
    O-/-<]: - skateboarding
    
    (@_@) Concerned / Stoned / Stressed
    
    ô¿ô Looking at you
    
    ^_^ Very Happy 
    
    [^_^] Very Happy 2 
    
    (-.-)Zzz... Sleeping 
    
    [{-_-}] ZZZzz zz z... Sleeping Baby w/Pillow 
    
    ITEMS
    
    8==8 dog bone
    
     [_]3 Cup of coffee
    
     -@-@- Glasses
    
    |==|iiii|>----- Needle
    
    (===||:::::::::::::::> Sword
    
    @->- small rose 
    
    <3 Heart ())__CRAYON___)) >
    
    @-}-- Rose 1 
    
    @}}>----- Rose 2 
    
    @)}---^-----   Rose 3 
    
    @->-->--- Rose 4 
    
    --------{---(@  Rose 5 
    
    d[ o_0 ]b Robot 
    
    ^i^ Angel 
    
    PRETTY PATTERNS
    
    •°o.OO.o° » Your name « °o.OO.o°•
    
    (¯`·._.·(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.· Your Name ·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)
    
    ,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-(_Your_Name_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸
    
    »-(¯`·.·´¯)->NAME<-(¯`·.·´¯)-« - 
    
    `°º¤ø,¸ ¸¤,¸ ¸,ø¤°'º´  
    
    *~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~* 
    
    `'~,.,~'`'~,.,~'`'~,.,~'`'~,.,~' 
    
    »-(¯`·.·´¯)->TEXT<-(¯`·.·´¯)-«
    
    (¯`·._.·(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.· Your Text ·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)
    
    ,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-(_Your_Text_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸
    
    OTHER
    
    ̿ ̿ ̿̿'̿̿\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿
    
    ___________________/\_____________\0/_______'' Help Shark''
    
    ________ ▄█▀ ▀█▀ ▄▀▄ █▀ █▄█▄█ ▄▀▄ █▀ ▄█▀_________
    
    \,,/(^_^)\,,/ Rock on
    
    ,,!,,(^_^),,!,, F-off
    
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